The Prophetic Oak
A young wife finds life hard with an old husband, and an old man finds life hard with a young wife! She’ll slip in through one ear and out through the other,…
A young wife finds life hard with an old husband, and an old man finds life hard with a young wife! She’ll slip in through one ear and out through the other, flit about and fool you before your very eyes, and wriggle out of every scrape: you see and know what she’s doing, yet you can never catch her out!
A kindly old man had a young wife, a sly woman. When he offered her a word of advice, she answered:
“You old layabout! There’ll be no food or drink for you, and no white shirt to put on!”
And if you lose patience and say a word, it’s the same old story! So he thought of a way to teach his wife a lesson. He went into the forest, brought back a bundle of firewood and said:
“A wonder of wonders has happened! An old oak in the forest told me everything that had happened and foretold what was to come!”
“Oh, I’ll go there too! You know, old man, our hens are dying and our livestock won’t stay alive. I’ll go and have a word with it; perhaps it will tell me something.”
“Then hurry, while the oak is still talking. Once it falls silent, you won’t get a word out of it.”
While his wife was getting ready, the old man went ahead, climbed into the hollow of the oak and waited for her.
The woman arrived, fell down before the oak, prayed and wailed:
“Oak, mighty oak, eloquent old grandfather, what am I to do? I don’t want to love my old man; I want to make my husband blind. Teach me what remedy to use!”
The oak answered:
“There’s no need for remedies or wasted potions: start feeding him more butter. Fry a chicken in sour cream and don’t be stingy. Let him eat, but don’t sit at the table yourself. Cook porridge with milk and pour plenty of butter over it. Let him eat; don’t begrudge it! Make pancakes; ask him, bow to him, urge him to dip them in butter and eat more and more. Then your old man will be blinder than blind hens.”
The wife came home to find her husband groaning on top of the stove.
“Oh, my poor old man, does something hurt again? Are you feeling weak again? Shall I kill a chicken for you, or make pancakes, or pour butter over some porridge? Would you like that?”
“I’d gladly eat, but where would we get it?”
“Don’t you worry! You may scold me, but I still feel sorry for you. Here, my dear old man, eat and drink all you want!”
“Sit down with me.”
“Oh no, why should I? I only want to feed you! I’ll have a bite here and there and be quite full. Eat, my darling, eat plenty of butter!”
“Oh, wait, wife! Let me have a sip of water.”
“The water is on the table.”
“Where on the table? I can’t see it.”
“Right in front of you!”
“But where? Everything seems to have gone dark.”
“Well, climb onto the stove.”
“Show me where the stove is. I can’t even find that.”
“There it is. Climb up quickly.”
The old man made to crawl headfirst into the stove.
“What’s the matter with you? Have you gone blind?”
“Oh, wife, I have sinned! I ate too well, and now God’s daylight has gone dark for me. Oh dear!”
“What a misfortune! Well, lie there for now. I’ll go and fetch a few things.”
She hurried away, gathered guests and began a grand feast. They drank and drank until the wine ran out, so the woman went for more. The old man saw that his wife was gone and the guests had eaten and drunk their fill and were hanging their heads. He climbed down from the stove and began laying into them, one on the forehead, another on the back. He beat them all to death and stuffed a pancake into each mouth, as though they had choked on them. Then he climbed onto the stove and lay down to rest. His wife returned, took one look and almost fainted: all her friends and companions lay like hogs, with pancakes sticking out between their teeth. What was she to do? Where could she put the bodies? She vowed never to gather guests again, never to leave the old man alone. Just then a fool was passing by.
“My good man, you rascal!” cried the woman. “Here’s a gold coin: save us, body and soul, and take this trouble off our hands!”
The fool took the money and dragged the bodies away. He pushed some through a hole in the ice, covered others with mud, and hid every trace.